A frequent question that gets asked is what are appropriate colors, symbols and patterns that might be symbolic for a Temari that is to be given as a wedding gift.... some collected information from Talk Temari is summarized here, and it also includes some personal recollections from a group member of her dual-tradition Japanese-Shinto/Christian wedding.
From Sue H:
Got my dear husband on the case of wedding symbols and turned up some
of the following
from the Japanese-English Dictionary of Japanese Culture: mizuhiki
(literally,
to draw water) - A paper cord used for binding up a gift. The
cord is made up of a set of five paper strings stuck together, looking
like
a stream of water. Each half of the cord is of different
colors. One of gold and silver is for especially auspicious
occasions, such as weddings; one of red and white for ordinary
congratulatory and courtesy gifts; one
of black and white for funeral offerings. Ways of tying the cord
differ
according to the occasion. Iida in Nagano Prefecture is best
known
for its production of mizuhiki. yuino- engagement gift;
betrothal
gifts exchanged between the two families of the prospective bride and
bridegroom.
The exchange rite is conducted in a ceremonial way, with the parents of
the
prospective bridegroom visiting the prospective bride's house.
The
gifts brought by the former used to consist of folding fans, casks of
rice
wine (sake), rolls of kimono fabric, etc. But today, money,
wrapped
in red and white folded paper tied decoratively with gold and silver
strings
is usually presented. In return, a portion of it is used to buy
something
for the bridegroom.
These two traditions yield some good ideas regarding colors, and
numbers... using divisions of 5 (or multiples of 5), using red and
white, using gold and silver, using tassels of red and white or gold
and silver (to symbolize the falling "water"), using "fans", "rice".
Other auspicious symbols besides chrysanthemums include turtles,
cranes, plum blossoms, cherry blossoms. In Japan, as in many western
cultures, there are family crests. (Japanese ones are a circle with an
abstract line representation of a certain flower in the
middle)... a temari that uses both crests, or design elements from both
crests
would also be appropriate.
=======
From Kathy H.:from a site on Japanese weddings, "Suehiro is a fan that
symbolizes happiness, and as the fan expands to the end it indicates a
better and happy future." I like the explanation on this and now I'm
eager to try a temari with the fan design in the future. I'm
still thinking the chrysanthemum pattern will work nicely and I'll make
sure to use the colors suggested. At least now I have some good ideas
to discuss with the bride. I've been searching
the web for more symbolism and found:
http://www.huntington.org/Education/lessons/LPzen.htm
"The Japanese garden is also thoughtfully planted with trees,
shrubs,
and flowers that hold symbolic significance in Japan. For example, pine
needles stay green all year and grow in pairs, therefore they represent
devotion and longevity. Plum blossoms appear early every year, as
harbingers
of spring and symbols of courage and womanhood." I also found
a
beautiful chrysanthemum pattern with pine needles around the obi in one
of
my Japanese books: ISBN4837702929, shown on page 2.
Yoshie also informed me that the crane is symbolic because they mate for life.
==========
And from Sue Hayashi - she is kind enough to share her wedding experience with us.....
Just for the FYI, as we celebrated coming up to our 25th anniversary on the 21st, when we were engaged my husband's parents actually did present to my parents a tray filled with konbu (seaweed), surume (dried cuttlefish), bonito (dried fish shavings), sake, and a fan. My poor folks, not being familiar with this custom, graciously accepted the gifts with wonder and amazement. Since the formal presentation was done in April, tradition dictates the gifts remain on display until the wedding which was in August. We had a cat at the time, and needless to say, the strong aromas of all those dried sea creatures had her attacking the dinning room table around the clock. None too soon, my mother put the tray in her china cabinet to prevent the cat from destroying it. However, under those enclosed conditions, the fishy smell managed to invade everything in there. It was years before Mom was able to eradicate it.
Along with our "traditional" Christian wedding ceremony, we also had
a Shinto ceremony (minus the Shinto priest), which included sharing
sake in a three-tiered cup/dish set, presenting woven branches to an
alter, (along with the appropriate bows, and hand claps, lighting a
special candle, then having the immediate members of both families
drink sake from special (traditional) un-glazed sake dishes. (they are
unglazed with the intention,
like the breaking of a wine glass after a special toast, to never be
used again for any other purpose) all accompanied by Gagaku music
(ancient court music).
Several years back, we had the good fortune to be invited to two of my husband's cousins' weddings. The first's wedding was in the traditional Shinto style... I was thrilled to see first-hand that we had done things "correctly" so many years ago, even down to the music. The second cousin, who had been in attendance at our wedding, was so highly influenced by it, that she chose to have a "Christian"-style ceremony (white dress and veil rather than kimono) for her own. What a compliment! (by the way, this cousin will be coming to the US from Singapore, with her husband, for our 25th Anniversary Celebration over Labor Day weekend!)
=======
and some more nuggets of sharing from Sue, both from the past and
now
the present as she and her hubby Fujio celebrate their silver wedding
anniversary.......
......What I forgot to put in was the fact that
the cat eventually did manage to snag one of the packages of squid, and
had a lovely dinner. Mom was nearly heart-sick... but Fujio told her
not to worry. Also, the "beautiful" white tray the things were
displayed on was actually a white teflon cookie sheet! It was the
closest thing my in-laws could find to the kind of thing used in
Japan. Fujio's grandparents hand-carried the unglazed sake cups
(they look like a mini saucer), because they are so brittle and break
easily.
We held the Christian ceremony part of our
wedding in the church where I grew up... and with careful
orchestrating, we had
the Shinto ceremony just before the reception at the Ramada Inn.
I
asked that the head table not be set with dishes so it could be used by
the immediate families for the "communion"-like drinking of the sake by
the
designated family members.......
For the Shinto ceremony, our wedding party
temporarily sat at the tables reserved for the bride and grooms
parents/immediate families. At the head table was Fujio's
parents, his grand parents, his aunt and uncle, and his sister.
on my side was my folks, one of my grandfather's sisters and her
husband (as all my grandparents were deceased), my mom's sister, and
my brother. Fujio's folks asked some friends of theirs to be the
Omiko's (sort of like alter-boys or aids to the priest, only girls),
Mrs. Simmons and her daughter made their kimonos which were stunning.
We stood in front
of a small table perpendicular to the center of the head table so all
in
the reception hall could see us in profile. Mrs. Simmons poured
the
sake from an elaborate decanter "three times" into the first of the
three
Shinto sake dishes. Fujio took "three" sips, then passed the dish
to
me so I could take "three sips". This was repeated with the
second
tier of the dish, only to me first then Fujio. Then again with the
final
tier of the set back to Fujio first then me. Mrs. Simmons
presented
the sacred branches to us. We walked around the small table to
another
small table and presented the branches to a large candle. There
were
two smaller candles on either side with our names on them. We
used
the smaller candles to light the large candle. Finally we bowed
and
clapped several times. I think there were several other bows and
claps
in there, but I can't remember when. Finally we joined our
families
at the head table where Mrs. Simmons and her daughter poured sake into
each
of the unglazed cups. We all stood and drank at the same time,
symbolizing the uniting of the two families.
Because the wedding announcements are given
to
the local newspapers well in advance, our "very" local paper took up on
the
cultural oddity of our dual wedding ceremonies, and sent a reporter to
cover our rehearsal the night before. What a surprise, as I was
getting dressed
on our wedding day, to see a huge 1/4 page photo of Fujio and I staring
out
from the front page no less!